No one expects to be in a blended family. I sure did not think I would graduate to have a bonus mom and two brothers added to my family. I never thought I would have to say, “this is Lorie my step-mom” followed up by, “no my parents did not get a divorce my mom passed and Lorie’s husband passed as well.”
I never thought that I would be sitting in therapy with Dad talking about how angry I get with him. Looking back I can see that I was struggling with typical blended family issues, that after my mother’s death I could not handle thinking anyone else I love dying. That when I do not know what my dad was doing I had anxiety attacks. How much I was bothered by how I was told to change my behavior to accommodate someone else in the house. I did not stop to think how she must feel, how she is in another families house, expected to be okay walking around how everything was with my mother. How she sold her home to live in a house, that will never truly be hers. How my step brother lost his childhood home not knowing if he would have a place to sleep if he visited. That this new place would never really be theirs no matter how hard we tried to make it theirs.
But all this is normal blended family things, but we have one up on them, WE LOVE EACH OTHER DEEPLY.
I gained a family who loves Disney passionately, knows this ins and outs of the parks, a family who understands pain and growing together. I gained a brother who was so musically talented the past President of GVSU, T. Haas’ favorite musical he ever saw at GV was one he starred in. I gained a brother who all my friends want to get his number, who tells the best jokes, loves puppies, and cares so deeply about the ones he loves. I gained a dog for the first time in my life! But most importantly I gained a great woman to look up to, a confidant, someone who loves Marie as much as us, someone who is the “cool mom” to all my friends, someone who listens to pointless drama, watches chick flicks with me, cooks the best waffles/cheesy potatoes/desserts, picks on Dad with me, but also lets me pick on her.
I never thought I would stay so close to home when I left for college, but doing so has been the best decision. I get to see Lorie as often as I want, when she’s on campus. I can go home for special days to see Cal, Lorie, and Dad. We get to have weekend BBQ’s and game nights.
This is not the life I would have ever imagined for myself, but it is a life I am so grateful, blessed and happy for. Blended families will always have struggles because dynamics were once different, it wasn’t the original plan, but plans never work out, you just have to keep on keeping on.
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